Raspberry and Coconut Chia Sago

For a number of months now I have espoused the benefits of coconut oil to anyone who will listen. I have used the liquid of the Gods to fry my eggs in, butter my toast, and even to oven-bake my muesli. I have, also, occasionally been known to eat it by the spoonful straight out of the jar. But lately I have stepped the health kick up a notch. I have become a mixologist of green breakfast smoothies and a mad scientist of sorts concocting kick-ass healthy raw snacks and desserts. Hell I have even tried activating the only nuts I could find in the cupboard - pistachios, and to cap it all off I ordered bee pollen online from Cheap Superfoods to add to my herbal tea.

Where to next you ask? By stealth and in the pale light of the moon, my mission involves converting members of my family onto the health food train without their knowledge. If they can eat something that tastes delicious and then have the added health benefit - then a little subterfuge between us is surely forgivable, no?

I hate to admit I did not take a photo of this dessert. My bad. But by virtue of the fact it was a winner with the family who actually thought it was real sago I will be making it again and I will update this post once I do, so you too can revel in the marvel that is my Raspberry and Coconut Chia Sago!

Ingredients - Serves 4
1 x 400ml can light coconut milk (if you only have coconut cream that's fine but just pour it into a bowl and whisk out any lumps before you use it)
1/3 cup of white or black Chia seeds (I used a blend)
2 tbs of honey
1 tsp vanilla extract

2 cups frozen or fresh raspberries (I used frozen)
1/2 cup of whole toasted pistachios
4 tbsp toasted coconut flakes

Place the coconut milk, honey and vanilla extract in a bowl and stir well. Place in the fridge for at least 1 hour or until the Chia seeds have absorbed the coconut milk and the mix resembles sago.

Toast the coconut flakes for 5-10 minutes either on stove-top or in the oven. I soaked my pistachios for a couple of hours to remove the skins, then I dry roasted them on an oven tray at 130 degrees for about 20-30 minutes. You don't have to do this - its perfectly fine to leave the skins on and just toast as they are for 10 minutes at 180 degrees.

Using either 4 serving glasses or 4 small dessert bowls divide the Chia sago mix into the bottom of each. Then dividing the other ingredients top each bowl with the raspberries, the pistachios and the coconut flakes. Using a teaspoon then drizzle a little honey over the top of each bowl before serving.

* You can use any nuts you like, and any fruit for that matter. Opt for whatever is seasonal and to your tastes!

Christmas Turkey + Trimmings

We are edging closer to Christmas again and the fat guy in the red suit is starting to check his naughty or nice list. It's also about the time that foodies start to scour the internet in search of recipe ideas for the family feast. I thought I would post this roast turkey recipe which I made for the first time last year, and hope to do so again this year. It is a loosely adapted recipe from Gordon Ramsay The Nations Favourite Food and Donna Hay and it was a cracker. I was actually in Montreal for Christmas and was able to order a free-range fresh turkey from Atlantique Deli a European style Deli on Cote-des-Neiges, and I really think if you can buy fresh over frozen too it is going to elevate your Christmas turkey to the next level of gobble-gobble goodness. Also it's Christmas so time to indulge. Don't be afraid of all the butter. Remember you are most likely only going to eat a small amount of turkey amongst other things - so relax and enjoy it!

 

Ingredients
For the herb butter
250g unsalted butter
3-4 sprigs thyme (leaves only)
sprig of rosemary (leaves chopped)
2 tbsp chopped parsley
Salt and fresh ground Black Pepper
4kg medium-sized turkey

*Extra sprig of rosemary, 2 sprigs of parsley and 2 bay leaves

For the stuffing
125g butter
1 brown onion finely chopped
Sprig of thyme and rosemary (leaves only and chopped)
200g breadcrumbs (I like sourdough)
6 sage leaves
Zest of 1 lemon (keep the lemon to use inside the bird)
50g pine nuts
1 tsp salt
Fresh ground black pepper
3 tbsp parsley chopped

For the gravy
1 brown onion chopped
2 tbsp olive oil
125ml dry white wine
1 sprig fresh thyme
1 bay leaf
500ml chicken stock
2 tbsp cornflour
Pan juices for roasting
Salt and fresh ground black pepper

1. Pre-heat the oven to 180C.
2. Make the herb butter by mixing the butter with the herbs and salt and pepper (to taste) to form a paste. Place in fridge to chill.
3. To prepare the turkey, prick the lemon you have zested for the stuffing a few times, and place inside the bird, tie up the extra sprig rosemary and parsley and bay leaves with butchers twine and place inside the bird (you can really use any of the other herbs too just bundle them all up, tie and place inside the bird).
4. Take the butter out of the fridge, and using your fingers to feel your way carefully lift up the breast skin from the flesh and divide the herb butter between the two breast flaps and pull the skin back over (I saved a little butter, and did the same thing with the legs)
5. Truss the turkey (use you tube if you have to) and then season all over the skin of the bird.
6. Place turkey on a rack in a roasting tin, and pour about an inch of water in the tin to help keep the bird moist (you will see from my pic above I have herbs in the bottom of mine - don't do this unless you want green gravy!) then cover loosely with foil.
7. Place the bird in the oven and cook for 3 hours. At the 1.5 hour mark, baste the bird with the pan juices every 15 minutes. 1/2 hour before the end of cooking time, take the foil off the bird so the skin can get brown and crispy, continue to baste every 15 minute mark. Rest for 30 minutes covered loosely in foil.

I like to serve the stuffing separate from the turkey. I also like a crispy crunchy stuffing which makes a nice contrast in texture when served with the gravy (not the dense mushy stuff you get when you put the breadcrumb mix into the turkey).

8. To make the stuffing, melt butter in a large frying pan and saute the onion for 5-10 minutes until soft.
9. Stir in the herbs and then add the breadcrumbs to absorb the butter.
10. Mix in the lemon zest, pine nuts and season to taste, cooking over medium heat for 5-7 minutes or until the breadcrumbs start to brown and crisp. Take off the heat and stir in the parsley. You want to serve this warm - so either place some alfoil over the top and leave on stove top to retain heat or pop it into a cooling oven (unless you are still using your oven for other things).
11. To make the gravy (note you can prepare most of this while your turkey is cooking - finishing with the pan juices at the end). Saute the onion in olive oil for 5 minutes, pour in the wine and then add the thyme and bay lead and boil until reduced right down.
12. Add the chicken stock until reduced by half. Remove from the heat and cool for 10 minutes then strain. Do not season at this point as you don't want to have an overly salted gravy.
13. In a clean pan add the turkey juices and boil for 2 minutes, add the reduced chicken stock. To thicken the gravy add the 2 tbsp cornflour (make sure you have loosened the cornflour in a little bit of cold water to make a paste first before you add it to the gravy).
14. Once the gravy is at the desired thickness, check for seasoning, adding salt or pepper if needed.
15. Carve your turkey and serve with the stuffing and gravy to the side and whatever other accompaniments make your Christmas feel like, well Christmas!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah!

Flour Bakery + Cafe Egg Sandwich

                  

I can't believe when I was in Boston at Flour Bakery + Cafe, I didn't buy Joanne Chang's "Flour, too" cookbook. If only I had of known it contained the recipe for her scrumptious breakfast egg sandwich, I wouldn't have had to trawl the internet like a porn addict in search of it.

Don't get me wrong, my desire to replicate this sandwich is by no means a substitute for the real thing, I would buy and eat this sandwich from Flour bakery all day every day given half the chance. There is just one small obstacle, being in Australia - there is 20+ hours of flying time between our unrequited love. So here it is:

Makes 4 servings (or sandwiches)

9 eggs

3/4 cup half and half (which is basically half milk and half cream)

3/4 tsp kosher salt

Pinch ground pepper

1/2 tsp chopped fresh thyme

Secret sauce

4 tbsp Hellmans mayonnaise

4 tbsp dijon mustard

4 foccacia rolls

4 slices sharp cheddar cheese

8 slices smoked bacon or 4 slices black forest ham

2 cups mesclun greens or rocket

4 slices of ripe tomato or 4 roast Roma tomato halves

Crack your eggs into a bowl and whisk with the half-and-half, adding the salt, pepper and thyme. Once the egg mix is whisked, pour into a 20-22cm round cake tin, and place on a baking tray or dish that has high sides. Add a little water to the tray so that you create a water bath for the egg custard. Place in a pre-heated fan forced oven at 150 degrees for 30-35 minutes. You want the egg cooked enough so that it doesn't wobble around, and is set.

Once the egg souffle has cooled down cut it into 4 portions, and place the slices onto a baking tray. You then need to layer egg with your sandwich ingredients. First add the cheese, then the tomato. If you are time pressed, you can simply add sliced tomato on top of the egg. If you have extra time and lots of ripe Roma tomatoes, try halving your tomatoes and seasoning with salt and pepper, a little thyme and olive oil and roast in a low oven on 150-160 for 1 hour to extract some of the moisture and intensify the flavour of the tomato.

Then top your egg with either the bacon slices (that have been pre-cooked) or the black forest ham, and place the topped egg in the oven so that the cheese has time to melt.

Yes the bread is super important to the overall quality of the sandwich. And if you totally had the time (or even if you didn't) you would make your own. That's what Joanne Chang would do. At Flour bakery they use a focaccia dough to make their sandwich rolls. You can use whatever rolls you like, but the crust should be soft. 

To make the not-so-secret sauce, mix the mayonnaise and dijon mustard. If you can't find Hellman's any other whole egg mayonnaise (I like S&W) will do just fine. Halve your rolls, and spread both sides with mayonnaise, then place a small handful or mesclun or rocket on each base. Retrieve your  eggs from the oven, and top each roll with an egg, and top with the bread rolls. And there you have it, your very own piece of Flour bakery in every bite without having to leave the comfort of your lounge. Bon Appetite!

Bestest Road Tested Flourless Chocolate Cake

Hey come here...yeh you...closer...that's it...I've got a secret to tell you. What's that, you ask?. Well...I have a confession to make. I am a hopeless baker. Yups. If it has to be measured and it has to be precise, I am usually going to stuff it up. I found this Elizabeth David recipe which was adapted by Jill Dupleix, and have made it a number of times over the last 5-6 years. In fact, it's probably the only dessert I do well with the exception of a Neil Perry lemon tart. Uncomplicated, five ingredients and minimal elbow work. You will love this cake and no doubt it will also be added to your baking repertoire once you realise how easy and fudge-alicious it is.


Ingredients
250 grams bitter dark chocolate
150 grams caster sugar
150 grams butter
100 grams ground almonds
5 free-range eggs (separated)
Icing Sugar or Cocoa powder (optional)

Method

1. Heat oven to 180 degrees. Butter and Flour a 20cm round cake tin.
2. Melt chocolate sugar and butter in a heat proof bowl over simmering water. Or do what I do and cheat by putting it in the oven for a few minutes while it's warming up.
3. Remove melted chocolate mix from heat and stir thoroughly. Mix in the almond meal then beat in separated egg yolks one at a time.
4. Beat egg whites until stiff and peaked. Stir a couple of spoonfuls into the chocolate mix to lighten before gently folding in the rest (use a big stainless steel spoon to help aerate the mix).
5. Bake for 40-50 minutes and leave to cool in tin. Dust with icing sugar or cocoa powder to serve.

               

Lately I have been making a variation on this cake. I either bake two cakes individually (this makes a super-sized cake like the one in the picture below) or you can make one cake and cut it in half. Be careful if you do this though. I put my cake in the fridge to "set" before I cut my single layer cake into two. I then spread Nestle Top'n'fill Caramel over the bottom layer before sandwiching over the top.Just be careful as you can see from the picture on the left, because the cake is flourless, it will actually sink in the middle, and may also be a little cracked. That's okay it was made with love. But just to warn you to be gentle. Also as you can see from my finished product, the cake is a bit lopsided. I dusted mine with cocoa powder, and to be honest it was probably better the next day after a night in the fridge. Just take it out 2 hours or so before you want to serve it. Now if you want a richer dessert, serve with double-cream or ice-cream. I generally serve this with organic vanilla bean yoghurt as for me the tartness cuts through the richness and it makes me feel a little less guilty about the calorie and sugar overload. But hey - everyone needs a little sweetness in their lives right?

Lets get Pickled

Schwartz Smoked Meat Sandwich with Half Sours

I have wanted to pickle something for a while. Anything really. As long as it involves salt and vinegar I'm in. What really sold me on pickled cucumbers though were my recent trips to Montreal, Canada and also the USA. Half sours, full sours - they do an array of pickling styles and they do them all well. I was hooked on pickles, and on my return to Sydney I picked up a jar of McClure's Dill and Garlic Pickles from Essential Ingredient and demolished the jar in a few sittings. At $17.95 a pop, I quickly realised that whilst there ain't nothing better than the salty, garlicky, vinegary tang you get as you bite into a crispy cucumber spear I was gonna need to rob banks to fund my new addiction unless I learned how to make them myself. So I started researching pickling recipes. Some people swear against vinegar, choosing only to brine with salt and distilled water. I tried it. It didn't work for me. Back to the pickling jar I went. Until one day I stumbled across an online post from someone who claims to have attended a pickling class run by Bob McClure's of McClure's pickling fame. Look I don't know about the merits of this claim but in a way it's kind of like Colonel Sanders handing out 11 secret herbs and spices recipe cards.  You don't really give away your prized money-making award winning recipes - and then *cross your fingers* that some chump like me doesn't decide to post them on the world wide web.

Ingredients:
2.7kg small pickling cucumbers
6-12 garlic cloves (halved)
1-2 bunches dill
3 cups water
3 cups distilled white vinegar
1/4 cup kosher or sea salt
6 x Pint size jars (16oz)

Method:
1. Wash cucumbers and place in a bowl and cover with ice and pop in the fridge until needed. Doing this will make your cucumbers crispy.
2. Wash dill and trim roots.
3. Place peeled garlic in a bowl and pour hot vinegar over it. Let it stand for 1 minute then pour vinegar out. Doing this will stop your garlic from going blue in the brine.
4. Sterilise your jars - fill a pot with water and bring it to the boil. The water levels should be at least 1 inch above the tops of the jars. Submerge jars for about 90 seconds each, remove with tongs.
5. In another pot combine the vinegar, water and salt. Bring the brine to a rapid boil - make sure salt doesn't stick to bottom.
6. Take cucumbers out of fridge and quarter them. Trim cucumbers to same length so they fit into the jars without getting squashed (place 1 spear first in a jar to test its height). You can use the trimmings to pack into available jar space.
7. In each jar, place 2-4 halves of a garlic clove (depending on how garlicky you want your brine to be), one handful of dill then enough cucumber spears to fill the jar - making sure the cucumbers are below the "neckline". Place the lids in boiling water for 90 seconds before using.
8. Fill each jar with hot brine. Cap and seal the jars. Turn them over to make sure you have a good seal.
9. Place the jars in the boiling water for 10 minutes, this is called "processing".
10. Store in a cool place, and wait 1-2 weeks before eating. Refrigerate after opening. Pickles should keep for up to 1 year if stored in a cool dark place.

Well...go on then...! Get yer pickle on!

Hugo's Manly Wharf

Hugos Manly
Shop 1, Manly Wharf
East Esplanade, MANLY
Ph: (02) 8116 8555 Fx: (02) 8116 8585

No a more picturesque setting exists than a balmy Springtime evening on Manly Wharf. Watching the Sydney ferries roll in on a Friday night full of exhausted city-workers ready to hang up their suits and ties, if only for a weekend away from the rat-race, to dipsomaniacs ready to let their hair down, Manly style.

Falling somewhere in the middle, I dined out with long-lost uni buddies, Masty and The First Lady Who Never Was. Cocktails, the first order of the day, followed by a chilled bottle of Carlei Pinot Gris. The First Lady Who Never Was (who I only see once a year) quipped "You love Pinot Gris". Even with the passage of time, I didn't realise I was so predictably transparent. The place was busier than a one-armed cabbie with the crabs. Not even a self-confessed, fumbling youthful dalliance with the maitre'd by The First Lady Who Never Was, could get us a table any quicker. When we were eventually seated, we had one of the choicest waterside deck tables, the view from which, only got more enchanting as the night wore on. Or perhaps that was just the cocktails weaving their magic?

Hugo's by night - where everyone becomes beautiful

The menu is extensive, although a sheer cursory glance around the restaurant revealed that pizza is the signature Hugo's dish.The food at Hugo's isn't great, but it is good. A starter of fried calamari with rocket, chilli sea salt & lemon aioli, had crunch and bite with a little bit of heat,  and was perfectly married with the lemony mayonnaise. My pizza was artichoke with pancetta, chicory, taleggio, chilli & lemon. It was super thin and possessed a crisp base. The only way I like my men, and, my pizza. A side salad of tomato with fresh buffalo milk mozzarella & capers, transported Masty back to romantic travels across Italy she shared with her now-husband, pre-children. Nostalgia is a beautiful, but dangerous thing. All in all I had a great night, too much wine, too many cocktails, and being violently reminded of both on my trip home on the Manly ferry.

RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 6/10 SERVING SIZE: 7/10

CRUNCH FACTOR: 7/10 SPICE: 7/10

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie...

That's Caffe Sicilia. Located at 628 Crown Street Surry Hills, by it's sheer decor, Caffe Sicilia promises to transport you to the cobble-stone streets of any little local tratttoria in any piazza in Italia...that is, before you are met at the door by the 180kg+ Maori Maitre 'D...who looked ominously and suspiciously like a Security guard. Perhaps Caffe Sicilia's owners aren't taking any real-life Michael Corleone gunshot-to the-neck chances.

Pa Kettle was determined to eat here, after listening to rave reviews on talk-back radio. Stop right there. If a restaurant is having to advertise on talk-back radio to entice customers, we shouldn't be dining there. It wasn't a strong enough argument, and so Bopper, The Grifter, Pa Kettle and myself found ourselves here recently on a Saturday night.

The waitstaff are mostly Italian, and they tend to speak in Italian to you...or in an English so heavily accented that it may as well be Italian, because I understood just as much (or as little). There also seems to be A LOT of staff. We must have had around 5 waiters serving us through the course of the meal, and so it actually became quite obtrusive because not long after one waiter would have filled your water glass, another would come along and do the same thing. One waiter, dressed like a Doctor in a white coat, was clearly the man calling the shots. He seemed to have an authoritative air about him, and Pa Kettle commented he had a good sense of humor. Surprisingly, as 15 minutes earlier the same waiter had been explaining a free offering of mulberry and strawberry granita to the table, and when he walked away, I asked Pa Kettle what he had said because the waiter spoke directly to him, and he replied "I don't know, I couldn't understand him".

The food is quite reasonably priced, and I suspect this lies in the fact the place is licensed, and so one off-sets the other. Having said that, the wine list on a whole is horrendously expensive, some local Australian wines at least 3 times their comparative bottle-shop sale value. The imported Italian wines are worse.

The food is ho-hum. The Fritto Misto, and the special of Bacalao Cod Croquettes were probably the highlights of the meal. A selection of calamari, octopus, white bait and prawns lightly dusted in flour then fried and served with aioli and lemon. The croquettes served with a spiced tomato relish.

You do get a complementary dish of olives and bread rolls with olive oil and balsamic, which is a welcome touch. But no, that does not make up for bland pasta dishes, which quite frankly surprises me, as the restaurant uses Sophia Loren and her quip "everything you see, I owe to spaghetti" as a kind of ambassador. Um, maybe Sophia, but you certainly aren't eating it HERE. We ordered a selection of salumi and cheese ($33) which had prosciutto, salami, mortadella, bresaola and pancetta as well as parmesan, gorgonzola dolce, camembert, as well as muscatels, grissini and fig paste. You can't really go wrong with deli-cuts.

Next were Paste and Secondi. I ordered cavatelli pasta with slow cooked baby peas and meatballs ($20). I don't know why. I like peas. The meatballs were bland, bland, bland, although the pasta was cooked well. The Grifter ordered Maccheroni with rosemary and guanciale ($24). The pasta was most likely house-made but so dense and chewy, similar to the experience of eating licorice straps. The "sauce" was oil only, which made the pasta dry...the addition of rosemary was a sprig stuck in the middle of the bowl for presentation, almost like an apple in the mouth of a spit-roast pig. It cried out for the addition of acid to cut through the fattiness of the guanciale, and a sauce to dress the carbed-denseness of the pasta.

Bopper ordered the sirloin with salsa verde, potatoes and caremelised onions ($28). The salsa verde was a blend of parsley, basil and capers. It was super-bland, and looked like a cow's chewed cud. Bopper asked for medium rare...when it arrived the cow was still mooing on the plate. It seems (although not ironic) that the only person truly happy with his choice of meal was Pa Kettle, who ordered spatchcock braised with onion, carrot, potato and tomato ($24).



Caffe Sicilia...an experience no doubt. Although not to be repeated in a hurry.


                      RATING OUT OF 10: PRICE: 6/10 SERVING SIZE: 6/10

                                    CRUNCH FACTOR: 5/10 SPICE: N/A

1 - Squid 2 - Squid 3- Squid 4

Il Cantuccio
209 Lygon Street, Carlton VIC 3053

(03) 9347 9959 

ilcantuccio.com.au

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Let's play a game. Order a plate of Squid. Now count how many are on the plate. What? You only used one hand? Why I never!! Il Cantuccio is positioned closer to the Victoria Street end of Lygon Street, and one of the things it has going for it is the fact they don't have "spruikers" trying to lure you into the restaurant. I suspect now, that's because even the spruikers feel bad about the fact you are going to be ripped off. The food is...ummmm...okay. However, it is overpriced and it does under-deliver. The plate of squid was not only meagre, but bordered on miserly. It was however tender, and therefore not a complete waste of time. The same cannot be said however for the pork meatballs the silent-diner ordered. The description "wet garlic cardboard" springs to mind. Having eaten here now, I much prefer the fare further down Lygon St at University Cafe (penne in a rich pork sausage and mozarella ragu, or spaghetti with Vongole) or even on my last trip, the pizzas at Tica Teras Pizza Restaurant (followed by the chocolatey dipped churros at Chocolateria San Churro). Not to mention my all-time favourite, Il Solito Posto, and recent addition Il Bacaro.

RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 2/10 SERVING SIZE: 2/10

CRUNCH FACTOR: 2/10 SPICE: 1/10

Good Squid Go Bad

Grand Pacific Hotel Lorne
268 Mountjoy Parade
Lorne Victoria 3232
http://www.grandpacific.com.au

And so Cobra Starship sang...                                                                   
                                                                      

There are some food combinations which defy belief. Which is why I remain concerned by the fact that not only did I recently find a particular squid combination on a menu rather bizarre, a voodoo-like curse possessed me to order it. Squid accompanied by wombok, cashews, chilli praline and replete with a rather Italian tasting vinaigrette.  The squid was supposed to be pan-fried but was milky opaque in colour and chewy in texture, lacking any smoky grilled caramelisation which adds both colour and flavour. The chilli praline reminded me of...well praline. Every time I bit into a piece I thought I would lose teeth. Although that is only half the issue. Sweet seafood laced with Kraft Italian dressing? Who makes these recipes up? A krokodil* smoking Russian? Eating out with the silent-diner, the truly horrific dining experience was only marginally made better by the location, but the extra point was taken off by the waiter who had to keep pulling the scrap piece of paper out of his pocket in order to remember his recital of the 2 specials of the day. Bloody Mexicans.

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desomorphine

RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 4/10 SERVING SIZE: 5/10

CRUNCH FACTOR: 2/10 SPICE: 1/10

Cafe 22

Cafe XXII
22 Union St, Pyrmont
www.cafexxii.com.au
(02) 9552 3093



Don't be fooled by how small this restaurant looks. Stopping by one Friday evening, it looked as though there were only 4 small tables filling up the gorgeous sandstone street corner location. On further discovery, there were two additional rooms with tables cozily nestled amongst exposed beam ceilings, and whitewash walls. Great waitstaff and good food make this restaurant a lovely find. It's also BYO @ $3.00 per head which wins points with me every time. Food is fresh and innovative enough. I had the crisp calamari fritti, whilst the silent-diner ordered the Sydney rock oysters. My crispy-skin salmon main was slightly overcooked, but the crispy battered prawns that accompanied it, combined with the fennel salad and salsa verde was a great balance of flavours and textures.

Silent-diner's veal cotoletta had spent too many seconds extra in the fryer rendering the meat a little tough and dry, but the seasonal vegetable side, corn on the cob with snow peas and sugar snaps was delightfully sweet and crunchy.

Overall I enjoyed my dining experience here, and will definitely be back, even if only for breakfast, which I hear is worth the trek.



              
                    RATING OUT OF 10: PRICE: 7/10 SERVING SIZE: 7/10

                                   CRUNCH FACTOR: 5/10 SPICE: N/A

The Greek RSL

Question: What do you get when you cross very kitsch 1970s decor, pub-style food, a bouzouki, and 100 Greeks all with screaming children in one room? Answer: The Cyprus Community Club.

Located at 58 Stanmore Road, Stanmore, I am sure there have been more kilo's of taromasalata consumed here then you and I have had hot dinners. It's an interesting kind of place, somewhat bustling, and as the night wears on, increasingly frenetic. When the band starts and the music gets full swing, the Greek men switch from shaking gold-jewelery clad hands, to patting hirsuit backs and then man hugs, the waiters ditch their benzodiazepine and quickstep between tables, and the children pack the dance-floor as if channeling a Wiggles concert...it's that kind of vibe. Also it wouldn't be fair of me if I didn't give an honourable mention to the Greek Rod Stewart look-alike with the football jersey, and GHD-straightened fringe. Our eyes locked across the crowded room more times than Ireland has won the Eurovision Song Contest, namely due to the fact NOS repeatedly blared "..look there's your boyfriend.." and "hey don't look now..." (sucker; gets me every time).

The food is pub-style with a Greek twist. Or is that Greek-style with a pub twist? Dining with NOS, The Grifter and Pa Kettle for Father's Day, we opted for a set menu, which at $27.00 a head, is bargain basement dining. You get your hellenic staples of tzatziki, taramosalata, pan-fried haloumi, pickled octopus, and Greek salad. They also serve a combined platter of hot and cold. Think hot chips, pork chops, lamb chump chops, beef souvlaki and crumbed fried calamari. On the cold front, think blue swimmer crab, oysters, mussels, and king prawns. To keep the kitsch, the crabs claws are pierced through orange halves, slices of which, are on the half-twist and used for decorative purposes throughout. The only disappointment was the missing glace cherries.

In absolute squid loving fashion, it is fair to say NOS and the gang also agreed the calamari was the best part of the platter. It was fresh, not frozen (the same cannot be said for the prawns or crab) and it was really tender.

Dessert was ordered, and in ancient Greco style we were told we would have to go "upstairs" to the coffee lounge if we wanted to end the meal on a sweet note. On the way out, The Grifter true to nature, discovered the poker machines and proceeded to clean out the Greek RSL with two $1 coins borrowed from NOS. The winning bells rang and the bartender posing as a gaming attendant ushered her away to the back room to distribute the loot.

By this stage, the coffee lounge was shut, and we would never know whether loukoumades featured on the dessert menu. All in all, I can't say I would come back here again, not least until the Greek RSL has recovered from being fleeced by The Grifter, and I manage to erase Greek Rod Stewart's teased and primped within an inch of it's short-term life bouffant, from my long-term memory. Both high improbabilities.

                       RATING OUT OF 10: PRICE: 8/10 SERVING SIZE: 6/10

                                      CRUNCH FACTOR: 3/10 SPICE: N/A

In the Mood

http://www.thairiffic.com.au/restaurant/inthemood/default.html

Glenn Miller popularised the song in 1939, and as much as I'd like to think this Kensington Thai restaurant is paying homage to the king of swing in the naming of its restaurant, I am sure they have never heard of him. So I've eaten here twice, both times ordering the salt and pepper squid (as one does), both times to share. I think there was more on the plate the first time between three of us than there was the second time between two. "Yes" I hear you shout through the computer screen "that makes absolute sense!!!". Wrong. If you pay the same price both times, you should get the same amount of squid. 

I am an eternal egalitarian. So there were four of us at dinner, and we ordered two serves of squid, at $10.90 each). That's a plate to share with three pieces each. I'm not saying I am not okay with that, I'm just saying...well...you know maybe it would have been better if there was less porcelain showing on the plate! You've seen the picture...judge for yourselves! The squid here is tender, but crunch-for-crunch factor Monza beats it hands down. Flavour wise, Cheung Sing is a shoe-in. There are other interesting dishes on the menu, and the lounges are funky. Plus you can pop into the Donny next door for a pre-or-post dinner drink. Salvation.

RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 7/10 SERVING SIZE: 5/10

CRUNCH FACTOR: 5/10 SPICE: 5/10

The $8.00 Special

Let's be upfront. Mano para Mano. I don't know what's more embarrassing about this blog. The fact that this dish only cost eight bucks, or that it was purchased from "Bistro Rouge" at the Malabar RSL, located in Victoria Street Malabar. I have eaten the salt and pepper squid here, although this latest photo is courtesy of Bopper. They have a bistro which is cheap as chips, and a Sunday night raffle complete with an absolutely woeful "Talent Quest" (an embarrassment to the definition of talent, - and if you have entered into the talent quest before and happen to read this blog please read the disclaimer* below). So back to the Squid. The serving size is huge for the price, and the dish is good! The Calamari is garnished with my favourite additions of chilli, fried crispy shallots as well as chopped spring onion, and really you could do a whole lot worse for eight dollars now couldn't you? Well perhaps you could...eating the Squid here is one thing being subjected to the mediocre talent onstage is another...

RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 10/10 SERVING SIZE: 10/10

CRUNCH FACTOR: 6/10 SPICE: 6/10

* The opinion of the writer is subjective and not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual with a bad voice, hair, outfit or dance moves.

Sol Y Pimiento Calamares Para Siempre

 Monza Thai 212 Maroubra Road, MAROUBRA

 Tel: (02) 9344 9992

Deep Fried Crispy Salted and Peppered Calamari $14.50/L



BBQ Octopus with a spicy and sour sauce $14.50/L

In case you were wondering about this post title, it's a take on the song "Amigos Para Siempre" by Jose Carreras and Sarah Brightman. On a recent trip to Monza Thai with The Spaniard and La Familia, along with discussion about life-long friends and other follies, the Squid Club and my obsession with taking a photo of the dish before anyone got their fat little fingers near it was the source of much amusement. I have never eaten in at Monza Thai before having ordered take-away a number of times. I have gone as far as to order the salt and pepper calamari take-away, which I know can be an ill-fated move. Plastic take-away containers are not the fried food friend. I was disappointed then, but willing to give the in-house Monza visit a chance to redeem itself. Well the crunch was there, but the salt and pepper were on holidays in some other exotic location. I missed them. The condiments, sweet chilli sauce, and a sweet chilli mayonnaise were lost on me. Once you have had your crispy calamari dressed to impress in deep fried shallots, chilli, ginger and garlic it's kind of like going from driving a Lamborghini to a Ford Falcon. The BBQ Octopus was however a different story. They have a grill at Monza, so you get this wonderfully spiced and aromatic baby octopus that has barbequed, smoked flavours. It was definitely the pick of the two, and the dish I would come back and order. They also do a great beef massaman curry and a special of crispy basil chicken which got nods of approval from my dinner companions, and bada bing bada boom they don't charge corkage.

RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 7/10 SERVING SIZE: 7/10

CRUNCH FACTOR: 8/10 SPICE: 5/10

"I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea.'”

Thanks to the oft-quoted idioms heralded by Jessica Simpson, sometimes a blog just has to digress. On a recent night out at Blue Eyed Dragon, located at 37 Harris Street Pyrmont, I scoured the menu high and low for a salt and pepper squid dish. This is a Taiwanese restaurant and it's what Asians do best right? Well the nearest I could find was a Taiwanese rendition of salt and pepper chicken, a scrumptiously moreish dish of floured deep fried chicken pieces and an even more agreeable side of chinese five spice mix to sprinkle over the dish like fairy dust at will.

A garnish of crispy basil leaves set the tone for a rather indulgent and what should have been private moment, but rather as part of a series of banquet dishes I was relegated to sharing.

The restaurant does a 10 course entree banquet menu for $50.00 and includes a choice of other dishes such as salt and pepper prawns, and also salt and pepper crab - holy crustacean! We had the salt and pepper crab, which had just the right amount of exterior crunch to the soft crab-give centre.

The restaurant is licensed, but BYO wine is allowed with corkage charged at $5pp, which for a city restaurant on a busy Saturday night service, is pretty good value.

RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 7/10 SERVING SIZE: 6/10

CRUNCH FACTOR: 7/10 SPICE: 10/10

Cheung Sing BBQ House Maroubra

695 Anzac Parade Maroubra NSW 2035

I have previously raved about this restaurant on eatability click here to read full review and it is fast becoming somewhat of a local institution in Maroubra. Frequently full, there is a sense of slapdash to both the art of ordering and service in this place. You take a seat. You order in a no-nonsense fashion. You wait. Sometimes 5 minutes, sometimes 10 minutes for your order. You eat. You pay cash. You leave. It's no frills dining at best, and that is the first thing I love about it. The second thing I love and the brainchild of this blog is the salt and pepper squid. It is a huge serving and well priced at $12.00. The squid is not battered, but lightly coated in a salty peppery flour mix. They also use a mix of baby octopus and calamari. The dish is garnished with chopped chilli, garlic, ginger and crispy fried shallots, so not only do you get the crispy light crunch as you bite into the calamari but your senses get whacked with the heady aromas and heat of the garlic, ginger and chilli.

RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 10/10 SERVING SIZE: 9/10

CRUNCH FACTOR: 8/10 SPICE: 8/10

Get Him To The Greek

Paros Greece - tavernas line dry locally caught Octopus

Samos Greece - in the name of tenderising it is common for local fishermen to beat the bejesus out of poor unsuspecting Octopii

I don't profess to be a puritan about this blog. Yes, it is supposed to be about Salt and Pepper Squid, but who am I to discriminate against other delectable variations of the animalia kingdom. In the ocean world Octopoda and Teuthida are like first cousins, so it's really no big deal to include photos and recipes from both. I must admit I have always had a fascination with Octopus, travels through Greece where locally caught seafood, "the catch of the day", is frequently the jewel in the crown of taverna menus from island to island. I was introduced to cleaning and eating Octopus from a young age, my Mum (The Grifter) would give me the job of cleaning baby Octopus where the key was to extract the "beak", and of course clean the heads. I realise now, many years later, the cunning methodology she employed as it was the worst prep job in the kitchen, but I was no less intrigued and beguiled by how those ugly slippery little suckers could turn into such tasty seafood treats. Nowadays, it's odd to find Octopus for sale in a fishmongers which hasn't allready been cleaned and is ready for cooking, and trust me, that is a good thing.

Now there are two basic theories to cooking Octopus in order to obtain the best results; either long and slow such as a braise, or grilled or seared quickly over high heat such as a BBQ. I have included my absolute favourite recipes for each, the first is from my brother's childhood mate The Spaniard, who happens to be Spanish, and the second is from The Grifter who isn't.

BABY BBQ OCTOPUS

1kg cleaned baby Octopus

1 tablespoon smoked paprika

2 tsp of dried Greek oregano
1 tbsp finely chopped parsley

2 crushed cloves of garlic

Juice of one lemon (zest is optional) 

A good glug of extra virgin olive oil (around 1/4 cup)
2 tsp salt and a few good grinds of pepper

Pinch of chilli flakes or 1 de-seeded and finely chopped red chilli



Mix marinade ingredients first and season to taste before inviting the Octopus in for a swim. If the balance is right, then add the Octopus and marinade for at least 2 hours or preferably overnight. Fire up your barbeque or grill and when hot, and the Octopus cooking for 2-5 minutes turning occasionally. If the BBQ is hot enough the Octopus tentacles will sizzle and curl up almost straight away. Be sure to get a good char going as there is nothing better than BBQ Octopus that also has a smoky BBQ flavour. Serve with wedges of lemon.

PICKLED OCTOPUS
1 cleaned whole Octopus, at least 1kg
1 garlic clove crushed
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup white vinegar
Couple of sprigs of dried Greek oregano
Salt and pepper to taste

The Greek name for this recipe is Oktapodi Toursi, which I don't think translates into "Tourist Octopus" but I must say I think it is a really common way for Greeks and tourists alike to eat it. Firstly as it is effectively pickled in a brine it keeps very well in sterilised jars. In fact The Grifter has been known to make jars of the stuff for Christmas gifts, particularly for my Aunty who loves it so much. Of course, Octopus is now a staple on many restaurant and home menus and so it is not as cheap to buy per kilo anymore, coupled with the fact is there some kind of sub-sea Octopus steroid pusher lurking around Octopus dens because it seems neither is it possible to buy a small-ish Octopus with most ranging upwards of 1kg. But I digress...back to the recipe.

1. Buy the Octopus cleaned. You know it makes sense.

2. Place Octopus in the largest pan you have that has a lid. You do not need to add anything else. Yes that's right watch Octopussy magic take place right before your very eyes, simmering the Octopus in its own juices over low heat until it turns almost magenta in colour and is tender. This should take around 60 minutes.

3. Drain and when cool enough to handle, cut head and tentacles into bit-sized pieces and place in a bowl.

4. Add the garlic, vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper and dried oregano to the mix.

5. Mix well, cover and leave to marinate in the fridge for a day before using *

6. When ready pile into a serving dish, and serve with lemon wedges and crusty bread.

* If you want to keep the Octopus for any length of time you need to use sterilised jars. You will need to fill the top of the mix with a brine (made in the ratio 1/4 cup salt to 1 litre of water which should be boiled to dissolve the salt). You would not use all of this brine of course, just enough to cover the jar and then a thin oil slick of extra virgin olive oil so that all the Octopus is covered. Once opened, you should refrigerate and use within a few days, but truly it is so deliciously divine that shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Kali Oreksi!