Saturday, May 4, 2013

Take me to the April sun in Byron...Oh...Oh...Oh!

We arrive at Byron Bay on a beautifully sunny late April weekend and it certainly doesn't feel like Autumn on the far North Coast of New South Wales. Byron Bay is one of those holiday destinations that has something for everyone - excellent surf beaches, great breakfast spots, a quaint shopping strip if that's your thing, music festivals to rival anywhere in the world, and some cool laid back bars and restaurants. Staying at Cavvanbah Beach House  where you can access Belongil beach via a bush-track almost at your back door, it is roughly 8 minutes walk to Byron Main Beach along the beach, or if you are feeling less Bo Derek-like, around 10-15 minutes on foot.


Cavvanbah Beach House

Bush track to Belongil Beach across the road

Private balcony to relax and enjoy the Ocean breeze
I can't recommend Cavvanbah Beach House highly enough. The owners, Jeff and Stephen are generally pottering around the place, they are there if you need them but otherwise unobtrusive. They come from a foodie background, and Stephen makes a lot of the breakfast from scratch - like toasted muesli so good you would hold downward facing dog pose all day long for. He serves it with organic yoghurt and poached seasonal fruits. There are always a couple of thick slices of bread to toast which he sources from an organic bakery in town and some fresh fruit, juice and coffee. He mixes it up daily too, so you don't get bored. Byron Bay is a pricey holiday destination - so to have breakfast included in your stay is a bonus.



A great Byron way to start the day

Deliciously nutritious

Our balcony spot set up to enjoy a hearty breakfast
A stay in Byron Bay is not complete without a trip to the Lighthouse at Cape Byron headland and having your photo taken at the most easterly point of the Australian mainland. It takes around 2.5 hours and there are a hell of a lot of steps, I mean of course you could drive there, but in such an idyllic setting with the most magical views of the peninsula, I'll take the walk every time.



You are spoilt for great beaches in Byron - don't be boring and just stick to Main Beach. We headed to Tallow Beach - which is great if you don't have small children and are a strong swimmer, cos there ain't no beach patrol. Another great spot is Lennox Head which is around 20 minutes drive from Byron and it's also less remote than Tallow Beach.



Do you like burgers? I am a bit of a burger afficionado. When I was a kid and came home from a swim at the beach with my Dad, my Mum would make me a peanut butter sandwich. Nowadays, I choose the burger option. "The Top Shop" a bakery + cafe up on Patterson's Hill at 65 Carlyle St Byron, is the grouse when it comes to burgers. The place used to be a milk-bar, and so it's amazing to see how the new owners have transformed it into an Old Spice Guy meets sun-kissed surfer kind of place. Ingredients are sourced from markets locally, and the sourdough and pastries are made on the premises, so while you are eating your haloumi burger with your eco-friendly cutlery and shaking the salt water out of your hair, feel good knowing you are helping to reduce the carbon footprint, man.
 

Do you like live entertainment? Head over to the Railway Hotel on Jonson St, where the beers are cold, and the music, is well, live. They have bands or solo artists play 7 nights a week, and it could be hit or miss dependent on who is playing on the night. The night we were there, there was a female artist who sang a very ordinary version of  Melissa Etheridge's "Bring me some water" and a massacring of Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" replete with bongo drums. Did I mention the beers were cold?



If cocktails are your thing, then it's "The Balcony Bar" on Lawson St for you, but don't dawdle as it fills up quickly just prior to sunset - which might be because it is a lovely spot to sit and watch the sun go down over Byron Bay or more likely because they have happy hour between 4-6pm where cocktails are $10.00, wine $6.50 a glass and Coronas are $6.00.

If you are hungry and in the mood for Mexican you have two choices, OzyMex at 8 Jonson St, or Miss Margarita at 2 Jonson St (across from the Beach Hotel bottle shop). OzyMex carries the full range of Byron Bay Chili Company sauces to buy, and is more a takeaway or quick snack kind of place rather than a sit-down service restaurant. But the servings are big.



Miss Margarita is fun and funky. And their taco combinations are really, really tasty. At lunch they do 2 tacos for $12.00 or 3 tacos for $15.00 or $18.00 with a Corona - we liked it so much we ate there twice.



I have always wanted to try stand up paddle boarding - or "SUP" as the cool kids call it. I googled a couple of places, and contacted the other company who never called or emailed me back, before finding OZSUP and gave them a call. They were really helpful, and I spoke to "Seppy" who runs the Byron Bay arm. Seppy is a typical Byron Bay dude, just super casual, friendly and nothing is too much trouble, mate. We booked a time and he told us to meet him at "The Pirate Ship" - opposite the Hotel Brunswick in Brunswick Heads. Looking for a Captain Jack Sparrow look-alike, the skies above were grey and threatening. The Heavens had opened earlier that morning in Byron Bay, and we thought the lesson might need to be cancelled. We found Seppy (who looked more like Geoffrey Rush as Hector Barbossa) on board chillin in his pirate hood. He was pretty confident the weather would hold out, and luckily a cancelled booking meant Silent Diner and I pretty much had our own private lesson. 



We had an awesome time during the paddle, it being so peaceful and serene out on the river - and we even managed to see a couple of eagles flying high and pelicans cruising the water. It was however a different story on the way back, when just rounding the bend back in towards the pirate ship the wind whipped up and it started to spit down. It was like paddling on the spot there for a while. Luckily the wind eventually died down and we made it back in time to practice a a pivot turn Seppy said we should master before we finished. This is really trick-talk for "you will most definitely fall in the water if you haven't already". Now wet, but happy and thankful we remembered to bring a change of clothes. If you are thinking of SUP then give Seppy AHOY at the Pirate Ship on 0431 381 463. 

There is so much to do in Byron, and I really never tire of the place. How about snorkelling at Julian Rocks Marine Park? No problem, Byron Bay Dive Centre has you covered. You simply pick the a dive time and book online or over the phone and then meet them at their dive shop at 9 Marvel St, Byron Bay. From there, you will get kitted out with snorkel and mask, flippers and wetsuit and head to Clark's Beach in their 4WD - the only labour intensive stuff is actually jumping in the water once you get to the actual rocks which is approximately 2.5km off shore. 


There are so many fish to see, including sea turtles, leopard sharks and wobbegongs and the dive centre has a really comprehensive map of fish species, so on your return you can pinpoint the types of fish you have seen. Silent Diner still traumatised after watching Jaws one too many times as a kid, wondered why they included a picture of a great white shark. It was only after dive, he did some google-search (formerly known as research) and discovered a diver was taken in 1993 by a great white in the area. I am not sure I will get Silent Diner in the water again.





I had done my foodie research before we arrived, and decided yes, we really did need to travel the 30 minutes by car to Mullumbimby for wood-fired pizza. Is Milk and Honey the best feature of this two-pub town? Well the Rainbow Lorikeets that perch high in the date palms at dusk and screech and squawk amongst themselves like a gaggle of old ladies at bingo seem to like the place, so I suppose not. In fairness, the town actually seems to have a growing organic and bio-dynamic food movement, and any place that honors and supports its various local food sources has my respect. Milk and Honey is one of those places where you experience lots of "ooh" and "aah" moments, a bit like Meg Ryan in When Harry met Sally. You look at the table next to you, and tend to want what they're having.


No half and half - this place is the real deal
Milk and Honey serve Hot Chilli Oil in a jar with their pizzas, and that stuff is I'm-getting-down-on-my-knees-praise-be-to-Jesus good. Dried red chilli flakes swimming in extra virgin olive oil. Lord give me a fix of Hot Chili Oil salvation every day of the week!

Fennel and garlic salami pizza
Milk and Honey source their ingredients from local farmers markets and cured meats from local producer Billinudgel. What's great to see from the open plan kitchen is a lot of the raw produce, like whole pumpkins, being sliced and diced during service. It's as paddock to plate as you hope to make it.


Poached peaches with almond semi-freddo
So how good is Milk and Honey you ask? Well, good enough that Silent Diner and I drove the 30 minutes back to Mullumbimby a second night for dinner. Oh by the way, see that baked beetroot salad with green beans, endive, fetta and lemon? Well it was so good we ordered it twice.




Prosciutto, hot salami, fennel salami, pecorino papato and olives with crusty olive oil bread

Prosciutto, artichokes, tomato, mozarella and parmesan
PS: Byron Bay. I love you.

Friday, March 30, 2012

The Squid is Back!

Well bloggers it's been a few barren months of squid-less dining, but I am here to tell you this tentacle hooded baby is back in the blogosphere!

It's been an interesting few months, I have eaten out regularly, hell I even travelled to a foodie's mecca - San Francisco for two weeks over the New Year...I just...well I guess...I kind of lost my blogging mojo. I've started wondering if the whole amateur food photography movement is just that, a fad. A self-indulgent "tirer la pipe". Confirmation came to me in the following form:



Fast forward, and I guess I could say "something drew me back to my home", and after attending the French film festival at the very-grown-up Verona cinema at Leichardt, where you can order wine by the glass in either standard pour - feature length - or epic measures, (a clever "cultured" disguise for what is otherwise known as getting pissed at the movies) myself, Bopper, and BFR wandered (read: staggered) around the corner to Gioia Cafe for a fast post-movie pizza fix. It was there I re-discovered my squid-ability roots.

Apparently Gioia Cafe resides on a site which was once a petrol station. Interestingly, it still has that kind of drive-in feel - but more like Arnold's in Happy Days than a Caltex Star mart. It is a huge restaurant, and that kind of sucks in a way - because when it is nowhere near capacity i.e. your voice echoes when you are seated at your table, it is really kind of obvious this place is not a local favourite. We ordered the Italian standard - a pizza, a capriccosia salad, a gnocchi with gorgonzola sauce, and calamari fritti.

The calamari was definitely crisp to the bite, and quite tender. However it lacked flavour, and was a little boring, or perhaps that was because I was betwixt and between eating my meal and watching Bopper make a run for the nearest photinia hedge to ease her acid reflux. It's okay Bopper...Mark has to use a barf-bag every time he travels too.

So it's good to be back, if not for the food reviews, at least for the gratuitous satire...

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Take me back to San Francisco


San Francisco is the kind of city that defies whatever expectations you have before you arrive, and just like The Pogues classic hit of the same name it is my kind of "dirty old town". There are so many cool aspects to the city, and so many ways to see the sites. You can bus-it, catch the metro, ride a cable car, cycle or walk. Some people might say with it's mountainous and hilly streets that San Francisco is not a walking-friendly city, but believe it or not we walked the whole city, although sometimes especially around the tenderloin, lower Haight, and mission areas wondered if we were masochistically toying with fate.We stayed at the Hilton in the financial district. It is a stone's throw from Chinatown and Little Italy and about 10 minutes walk down to Market St, and to Union Square. You are spoiled for choice by the sheer volume of old-world Italian cafes, restaurants, deli's and bakeries that line the steep streets around North Beach or "Little Italy". If you are after a seriously good coffee and pastry, the place to be in Little Italy is without a doubt Cafe Trieste, but be prepared to line up every time. The place is popular, and it's said that Francis Ford Coppola wrote much of the screenplay for The Godfather here.


This could be true, as he would have had no problem finding inspiration to write. On the first of a number of daily visits to Cafe Trieste, a Balkan looking man with a thick heavy accent in a Camel colored coat was in the cafe menacing patrons, standing in front of them muttering largely unintelligible but clear obscenities and giving them "the bird". The customer in front of us remarked "If this is the local color, I'm gettin' out of the neighbourhood". Silent diner and I have laughingly paraphrased these words in similarly bizarre situations many times since. We encountered the Balkan stand-over man a number of times around North Beach and in local uber-cool bar and cafe Vesuvio's at 255 Columbus Ave, usually talking to himself and generally looking scary. The key was no eye-contact.

We ate and drank out at North Beach quite a lot. The food is authentic, and the neighbourhood still retains a Jack Kerouac-ish beatnik charm. Two restaurants I would recommend are Sodini's restaurant an Italian trattoria at 510 Green St (don't forget to stop by the Grant and Green saloon nearby on 1371 Grant Ave - a small bar with live music and a happy hour - what more could you want) and also Capps Restaurant at the corner of 1600 Powell and Green St, a no-fuss Italian diner which serves humungous family-style meals - which consist of a soup, a salad and a main. If you are burning the midnight candle and want an after-dinner aperitif a treasure trove hidden in 12 Saroyan Place (off Columbus) is Specs' Twelve Adler Museum Cafe, and also perhaps a little less salubrious and more of a dive-bar but the service is good and the alcohol is strong, try Mr Bings Cocktail Lounge at 201 Columbus Ave - where if you are lucky the owner and the regulars might involve you in their Chinese dice game Sic Bo.



The Canneloni at Capps

Another great North Beach eating spot is Molinari's Delicatessen. Its at 373 Columbus Ave, and they make seriously delicious sub-sandwiches and certainly don't scrimp on the sliced cured meats and cheese fillings all freshly made, once you grab your ticket to order.



San Francisco is a serious foodie's mecca, and with 33% of the city's population Asian - there is certainly no shortage of choice of great Asian restaurants. We headed out to Yank Sing located at 101 Spear St for dim sum, which happens to be listed as one of the top ten dim sum restaurants in the Bay area. The Xiao Long Bao or Shanghai soup dumplings are great, but it was the Imperial Walnut Salad made with finely sliced purple cabbage, jicama, and honey roasted walnuts mixed with an Asian herb dressing that had me back home post-holiday scouring the internet for the recipe.


If you are looking for Vietnamese Pho you only have to google the search words "Best vietnamese Pho in San Francisco" to find an array of choice. After reading considerable reviews, we opted for Pho 2000 which is on 637 Larkin St in the tenderloin. Although, Turtle Tower next door is also supposed to rank highly in the Vietnamese soup stakes. Do yourself a favor though, don't believe the geographical scale of your map like we did, and then walk the entire span of Larkin St from West to East in order to get there. The restaurant is very close to Market St, and if we had of walked the 10 minutes to Market St from our hotel and the 10 minutes down to Larkin from Market, we would have saved an hour-and-a-half walking time. For the ladies out there, that's extra shopping time you can't get back. But to be fair, after such a long walk there is nothing better than a hearty bowl of fragrant broth to nourish the body and replenish the spirit.





Walking to North Beach every day past Portsmouth Square on Kearny St, we passed a restaurant called "House of Nanking" (www.houseofnanking.net) which was always abuzz with diners, and more often than not had a line out the door waiting to get in. Now I have learned a thing or two in my time, and lines out doors generally means one thing - good food. The food was good, and damn cheap. I had a particularly tasty sizzling rice soup with lemon broth and shallots, whilst Silent Diner opted for his go-to dish Hot and Sour Soup. Then we shared a plate of Bao Bing wraps - sizzling beef with lightly stir fried cabbage, Asian pickles and pancakes, do-it-yourself wrapped goodness. After dinner I went next door to Wayne's Liquor for some "supplies" and waited for Silent Diner who seemed to be taking an eternally long time paying the bill. When he emerged from Nanking I asked what had taken so long "The owner was showing me the photos of people who had eaten at the restaurant" "Oh yeh, like who?" "I don't know some guy called Jamie Oliver". I guess that's why only one of us is a deadhead and the other is a foodie.



By far for a self-confessed foodie ("SCF") like me, I could not have gone to San Francisco without eating at Charles Phan's Vietnamese restaurant The Slanted Door. The restaurant is located at 1 Ferry Building Marketplace down by the Embarcadero, and it has a beautiful view of the Golden Gate Bridge, if unlike us, you are not there during the misty fog of a San Fran Winters night. The Slanted Door channels the Yank Sing vibe by also featuring a purple cabbage salad mixing it instead with grapefruit, jicama and candied pecans. Two dishes that feature permanently on the menu are the cellophane noodles with green onion, dungeness crab and sesame, and the shaking beef - cubed eye fillet with watercress, red onion and lime sauce. The standout dish of the night for me was the spicy broccoli with pressed tofu, fragrant with the smoky earthiness of five-spice powder and hon-shimeji mushrooms.


The second mandatory foodie destination has to be Nancy Oakes restaurant Boulevard. I bought the cookbook about a year beforehand and realised by the sheer complexity of the recipes that I would never actually make anything from it, dreaming instead that one day I might actually get to dine there. I did enjoy the experience, definitely, but like any other fine-dining restaurant - it was very she-she-la-la, you know white table cloth, table napkin in your lap, that jaw dropping moment as you open the little leather folder that contains the bill, and then casually feigning indifference as the waiter has to almost pry your credit card from your hands.

Boulevard lamb rump with romanesco broccoli and rabe

Aside from all the usual things you should do if you go to San Fran - the Alcatraz Island tour, visiting the painted ladies at Alamo Square Park, a cable car ride through Lombard St, a visit to Pier 39 to see the Sea Lions, Fisherman's Wharf for a clam chowder, a shopping stint at Union Square and Westfield on Market St, you should also include a stop to Ghiradelli's for their fabulous chocolates and chocolate peanut butter fudge sundae. If after this your digestive system will let you, a stop at "in-n-out" burger where you sidle up to the counter and with a wink and an impish grin, ask for your burger "animal style". As much as I would like to tell you there is a kink factor involved in this request, the not-so-secret, secret menu is really just additional toppings such as pickles, extra spread, grilled onions and mustard fried onto the meat patty. Then perhaps you should think about burning the 10,000 calories you just ate. You can hire a bike from one of the cycle hire stores down near Fisherman's Wharf (we went to Blazing Saddles) and ride ride over the Golden Gate Bridge across to the now-gentrified fishing village Sausalito, where you catch the ferry back to Pier 41.One-way it's around 18km.


You can choose to eat this sundae, or just smother it on your hips

Happiness is in the arms of an in-n-out burger animal style of course

Or if you are really inspired, you can go off the grid like we did and bike to Tiburon which is 33 kilometres from Fisherman's Wharf one-way (to this day Silent Diner still does not realise this is how far we actually biked). We stopped at Waters Edge Hotel for lunch before boarding the ferry back to Fisherman's Wharf late in the afternoon. My advice would be if you are not a regular biker this longer trip is probably not for you, as aside from travelling through marshes and parks with a constant view of the bay, there are a few spots where its necessary to ride on larger roads. Still it was all an adventure for us, and a glorious sunny day so it was perfect to be outdoors and enjoy the charms of the Bay and this quaint coastal fishing village.



A walk along Haight-Ashbury is a must for any Grateful Dead fan who wants to see the house where Jerry Garcia once lived on 710 Asbury St, or anyone wishing to wear a flower in their hair and reminisce about the bohemian beat movement of the swinging sixties known as "The Summer of Love". And if you are really, really, lucky (or perhaps not) like we were, the rock band Further whose songs play longer than it took for me to fly to San Francisco might be playing at the Civic Centre. The band founded by original Grateful Dead members Bob Weir and Phil Lesh have a following of "deadheads", and we met a father who was with his mate and son at the concert who had taken some magic mushrooms, as you do, to heighten their overall experience of the show. This was the first time in about 20 years the oldies had touched the psychedelic stuff and became considerably sick, managing to miss seeing the show altogether.

Close to Haight-Ashbury, the Panhandle leads into Golden Gate Park and its a great way to spend a sunny afternoon, but take my tip and give the Japanese Tea Garden a miss, unless of course you enjoy looking at Koi fish swimming in ponds and Bonsai. I would have paid the $6.00 not to see it. Instead head to Stowe Lake where you can climb up high on Strawberry Hill for a sensational view of the Golden Gate Bridge and the Bay. Be forewarned, the air up there does develop an earthy tangy aroma which might or might not be caused by the numerous potheads also enjoying the vista.


Another great vantage spot to see the city from was shown to us by a friend, Fripster living in San Francisco at the time. We met up with him the day before we left, and he was struggling to suggest spots to take us we hadn't already seen. We mentioned we wanted to see "The Cross" that featured in the 1971 movie Dirty Harry "You know Mt Davidson Park?" "Yeh" "Go to the Cross". Here Harry meets Scorpio a sadistic serial killer, and after a tussle Harry stabs Scorpio in the leg before he escapes. At sunset, Fripster took us to "Twin Peaks" which is more than 900 metres high where not only do you have the most fantastic view of the whole city, but you can also see Mount Davidson and the Cross.


Now this wouldn't be a blog post about San Francisco if I didn't give some form of honourable mention to the Castro, and of course the Mission district. We walked the lower end of Market St (which is known as the tenderloin) a number of times - on our way back from Haight-Ashbury and also to and from the Mission and the Castro. The tenderloin noted for its sketchy and seedy reputation is home to a regular crew of hip-hopping African American teens who beat-box around the Civic Center wearing their saggy pants, serious bling and caps on sideways. It didn't occur to us that the fact we were forced to cross the street in order to avoid contact with them was a dead-giveaway we should have been avoiding the area like the plague - it was only evident afterwards reading our guide book that the areas we should most avoid due to violent crime including "brazen daylight shootings" were the very areas we were frequenting on foot most.

Although I am not sure where I felt more unsafe, but I would guess that an area that has a web page dedicated to finding "The Mission's 10 Most Dangerous Blocks" might be it. The area is known for fantastic Latino and Mexican culture and cuisine, but due to feeling uneasy in our surrounds our quest to find La Cumbre an authentic Mexican taqueria, became a kind of get-in-get-out kind of proposition. The food there is however, good, very good. Meat is cooked on an open grill and everything made to order while you wait. Seating can be hard to come by as the place is always busy so be prepared to wait.




Living in Sydney with Oxford St the gay heart of the city, there is not much to say about the Castro that I haven't already seen. It's a gay district, and everyone is either buff or well groomed or both. The Fripster regaled a story about his mate from Australia visiting San Francisco in the middle of Summer and stopping in at the Twin Peaks Tavern for a drink, not realising it was a landmark gay bar until he noticed that a number of the patrons were enjoying their tipples and shooting the breeze out in the open seating area on Jane Warner Plaza completely starkers. If you do want to get slightly off the beaten track, and enjoy a cider on tap from perhaps the only bar in San Francisco that does serve cider on tap (well the only one I found) head to The Wild Side West at 424 Cortland Ave, Bernal Heights (http://www.wildsidewest.com). We met Fripster there on our last night in San Francisco before heading to Napa Valley, and lucky it was a warm enough winter night we were able to sit out in the beer garden out the back.

One of my absolute highlights of San Francisco was being able to see the very talented master of funk, saxophonist Maceo Parker perform live at Yoshis San Francisco (http://www.yoshis.com/sanfrancisco) on New Years Eve. Maceo Parker and his band - who I might add consist largely of family members including his son and nephew had the whole floor jumping to his self-proclaimed "funky stuff". It was a buzz of a night, and a great way to end 2011, "off the hook".


Friday, November 11, 2011

Hugo's Manly Wharf

Hugos Manly
Shop 1, Manly Wharf
East Esplanade, MANLY
Ph: (02) 8116 8555 Fx: (02) 8116 8585

No a more picturesque setting exists than a balmy Springtime evening on Manly Wharf. Watching the Sydney ferries roll in on a Friday night full of exhausted city-workers ready to hang up their suits and ties, if only for a weekend away from the rat-race, to dipsomaniacs ready to let their hair down, Manly style.

Falling somewhere in the middle, I dined out with long-lost uni buddies, Masty and The First Lady Who Never Was. Cocktails, the first order of the day, followed by a chilled bottle of Carlei Pinot Gris. The First Lady Who Never Was (who I only see once a year) quipped "You love Pinot Gris". Even with the passage of time, I didn't realise I was so predictably transparent. The place was busier than a one-armed cabbie with the crabs. Not even a self-confessed, fumbling youthful dalliance with the maitre'd by The First Lady Who Never Was, could get us a table any quicker. When we were eventually seated, we had one of the choicest waterside deck tables, the view from which, only got more enchanting as the night wore on. Or perhaps that was just the cocktails weaving their magic?

Hugo's by night - where everyone becomes beautiful
The menu is extensive, although a sheer cursory glance around the restaurant revealed that pizza is the signature Hugo's dish.The food at Hugo's isn't great, but it is good. A starter of fried calamari with rocket, chilli sea salt & lemon aioli, had crunch and bite with a little bit of heat,  and was perfectly married with the lemony mayonnaise. My pizza was artichoke with pancetta, chicory, taleggio, chilli & lemon. It was super thin and possessed a crisp base. The only way I like my men, and, my pizza. A side salad of tomato with fresh buffalo milk mozzarella & capers, transported Masty back to romantic travels across Italy she shared with her now-husband, pre-children. Nostalgia is a beautiful, but dangerous thing. All in all I had a great night, too much wine, too many cocktails, and being violently reminded of both on my trip home on the Manly ferry.


RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 6/10 SERVING SIZE: 7/10
CRUNCH FACTOR: 7/10 SPICE: 7/10

Sunday, November 6, 2011

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie...

That's Caffe Sicilia. Located at 628 Crown Street Surry Hills, by it's sheer decor, Caffe Sicilia promises to transport you to the cobble-stone streets of any little local tratttoria in any piazza in Italia...that is, before you are met at the door by the 180kg+ Maori Maitre 'D...who looked ominously and suspiciously like a Security guard. Perhaps Caffe Sicilia's owners aren't taking any real-life Michael Corleone gunshot-to the-neck chances.

Pa Kettle was determined to eat here, after listening to rave reviews on talk-back radio. Stop right there. If a restaurant is having to advertise on talk-back radio to entice customers, we shouldn't be dining there. It wasn't a strong enough argument, and so Bopper, The Grifter, Pa Kettle and myself found ourselves here recently on a Saturday night.

The waitstaff are mostly Italian, and they tend to speak in Italian to you...or in an English so heavily accented that it may as well be Italian, because I understood just as much (or as little). There also seems to be A LOT of staff. We must have had around 5 waiters serving us through the course of the meal, and so it actually became quite obtrusive because not long after one waiter would have filled your water glass, another would come along and do the same thing. One waiter, dressed like a Doctor in a white coat, was clearly the man calling the shots. He seemed to have an authoritative air about him, and Pa Kettle commented he had a good sense of humor. Surprisingly, as 15 minutes earlier the same waiter had been explaining a free offering of mulberry and strawberry granita to the table, and when he walked away, I asked Pa Kettle what he had said because the waiter spoke directly to him, and he replied "I don't know, I couldn't understand him".

The food is quite reasonably priced, and I suspect this lies in the fact the place is licensed, and so one off-sets the other. Having said that, the wine list on a whole is horrendously expensive, some local Australian wines at least 3 times their comparative bottle-shop sale value. The imported Italian wines are worse.

The food is ho-hum. The Fritto Misto, and the special of Bacalao Cod Croquettes were probably the highlights of the meal. A selection of calamari, octopus, white bait and prawns lightly dusted in flour then fried and served with aioli and lemon. The croquettes served with a spiced tomato relish.

You do get a complementary dish of olives and bread rolls with olive oil and balsamic, which is a welcome touch. But no, that does not make up for bland pasta dishes, which quite frankly surprises me, as the restaurant uses Sophia Loren and her quip "everything you see, I owe to spaghetti" as a kind of ambassador. Um, maybe Sophia, but you certainly aren't eating it HERE. We ordered a selection of salumi and cheese ($33) which had prosciutto, salami, mortadella, bresaola and pancetta as well as parmesan, gorgonzola dolce, camembert, as well as muscatels, grissini and fig paste. You can't really go wrong with deli-cuts.

Next were Paste and Secondi. I ordered cavatelli pasta with slow cooked baby peas and meatballs ($20). I don't know why. I like peas. The meatballs were bland, bland, bland, although the pasta was cooked well. The Grifter ordered Maccheroni with rosemary and guanciale ($24). The pasta was most likely house-made but so dense and chewy, similar to the experience of eating licorice straps. The "sauce" was oil only, which made the pasta dry...the addition of rosemary was a sprig stuck in the middle of the bowl for presentation, almost like an apple in the mouth of a spit-roast pig. It cried out for the addition of acid to cut through the fattiness of the guanciale, and a sauce to dress the carbed-denseness of the pasta.

Bopper ordered the sirloin with salsa verde, potatoes and caremelised onions ($28). The salsa verde was a blend of parsley, basil and capers. It was super-bland, and looked like a cow's chewed cud. Bopper asked for medium rare...when it arrived the cow was still mooing on the plate. It seems (although not ironic) that the only person truly happy with his choice of meal was Pa Kettle, who ordered spatchcock braised with onion, carrot, potato and tomato ($24).



Caffe Sicilia...an experience no doubt. Although not to be repeated in a hurry.


                      RATING OUT OF 10: PRICE: 6/10 SERVING SIZE: 6/10
                                    CRUNCH FACTOR: 5/10 SPICE: N/A

Monday, October 17, 2011

1 - Squid 2 - Squid 3- Squid 4

Il Cantuccio
209 Lygon Street, Carlton VIC 3053
(03) 9347 9959 


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Let's play a game. Order a plate of Squid. Now count how many are on the plate. What? You only used one hand? Why I never!! Il Cantuccio is positioned closer to the Victoria Street end of Lygon Street, and one of the things it has going for it is the fact they don't have "spruikers" trying to lure you into the restaurant. I suspect now, that's because even the spruikers feel bad about the fact you are going to be ripped off. The food is...ummmm...okay. However, it is overpriced and it does under-deliver. The plate of squid was not only meagre, but bordered on miserly. It was however tender, and therefore not a complete waste of time. The same cannot be said however for the pork meatballs the silent-diner ordered. The description "wet garlic cardboard" springs to mind. Having eaten here now, I much prefer the fare further down Lygon St at University Cafe (penne in a rich pork sausage and mozarella ragu, or spaghetti with Vongole) or even on my last trip, the pizzas at Tica Teras Pizza Restaurant (followed by the chocolatey dipped churros at Chocolateria San Churro). Not to mention my all-time favourite, Il Solito Posto, and recent addition Il Bacaro.


RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 2/10 SERVING SIZE: 2/10
CRUNCH FACTOR: 2/10 SPICE: 1/10

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Good Squid Go Bad

Grand Pacific Hotel Lorne
268 Mountjoy Parade
Lorne Victoria 3232
http://www.grandpacific.com.au


And so Cobra Starship sang...                                                                   
                                                                      
There are some food combinations which defy belief. Which is why I remain concerned by the fact that not only did I recently find a particular squid combination on a menu rather bizarre, a voodoo-like curse possessed me to order it. Squid accompanied by wombok, cashews, chilli praline and replete with a rather Italian tasting vinaigrette.  The squid was supposed to be pan-fried but was milky opaque in colour and chewy in texture, lacking any smoky grilled caramelisation which adds both colour and flavour. The chilli praline reminded me of...well praline. Every time I bit into a piece I thought I would lose teeth. Although that is only half the issue. Sweet seafood laced with Kraft Italian dressing? Who makes these recipes up? A krokodil* smoking Russian? Eating out with the silent-diner, the truly horrific dining experience was only marginally made better by the location, but the extra point was taken off by the waiter who had to keep pulling the scrap piece of paper out of his pocket in order to remember his recital of the 2 specials of the day. Bloody Mexicans.

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desomorphine

RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 4/10 SERVING SIZE: 5/10
CRUNCH FACTOR: 2/10 SPICE: 1/10

Friday, September 30, 2011

Cafe 22

Cafe XXII
22 Union St, Pyrmont
www.cafexxii.com.au
(02) 9552 3093



Don't be fooled by how small this restaurant looks. Stopping by one Friday evening, it looked as though there were only 4 small tables filling up the gorgeous sandstone street corner location. On further discovery, there were two additional rooms with tables cozily nestled amongst exposed beam ceilings, and whitewash walls. Great waitstaff and good food make this restaurant a lovely find. It's also BYO @ $3.00 per head which wins points with me every time. Food is fresh and innovative enough. I had the crisp calamari fritti, whilst the silent-diner ordered the Sydney rock oysters. My crispy-skin salmon main was slightly overcooked, but the crispy battered prawns that accompanied it, combined with the fennel salad and salsa verde was a great balance of flavours and textures.

Silent-diner's veal cotoletta had spent too many seconds extra in the fryer rendering the meat a little tough and dry, but the seasonal vegetable side, corn on the cob with snow peas and sugar snaps was delightfully sweet and crunchy.

Overall I enjoyed my dining experience here, and will definitely be back, even if only for breakfast, which I hear is worth the trek.



              
                    RATING OUT OF 10: PRICE: 7/10 SERVING SIZE: 7/10
                                   CRUNCH FACTOR: 5/10 SPICE: N/A