1 - Squid 2 - Squid 3- Squid 4

Il Cantuccio
209 Lygon Street, Carlton VIC 3053

(03) 9347 9959 

ilcantuccio.com.au

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Let's play a game. Order a plate of Squid. Now count how many are on the plate. What? You only used one hand? Why I never!! Il Cantuccio is positioned closer to the Victoria Street end of Lygon Street, and one of the things it has going for it is the fact they don't have "spruikers" trying to lure you into the restaurant. I suspect now, that's because even the spruikers feel bad about the fact you are going to be ripped off. The food is...ummmm...okay. However, it is overpriced and it does under-deliver. The plate of squid was not only meagre, but bordered on miserly. It was however tender, and therefore not a complete waste of time. The same cannot be said however for the pork meatballs the silent-diner ordered. The description "wet garlic cardboard" springs to mind. Having eaten here now, I much prefer the fare further down Lygon St at University Cafe (penne in a rich pork sausage and mozarella ragu, or spaghetti with Vongole) or even on my last trip, the pizzas at Tica Teras Pizza Restaurant (followed by the chocolatey dipped churros at Chocolateria San Churro). Not to mention my all-time favourite, Il Solito Posto, and recent addition Il Bacaro.

RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 2/10 SERVING SIZE: 2/10

CRUNCH FACTOR: 2/10 SPICE: 1/10

Good Squid Go Bad

Grand Pacific Hotel Lorne
268 Mountjoy Parade
Lorne Victoria 3232
http://www.grandpacific.com.au

And so Cobra Starship sang...                                                                   
                                                                      

There are some food combinations which defy belief. Which is why I remain concerned by the fact that not only did I recently find a particular squid combination on a menu rather bizarre, a voodoo-like curse possessed me to order it. Squid accompanied by wombok, cashews, chilli praline and replete with a rather Italian tasting vinaigrette.  The squid was supposed to be pan-fried but was milky opaque in colour and chewy in texture, lacking any smoky grilled caramelisation which adds both colour and flavour. The chilli praline reminded me of...well praline. Every time I bit into a piece I thought I would lose teeth. Although that is only half the issue. Sweet seafood laced with Kraft Italian dressing? Who makes these recipes up? A krokodil* smoking Russian? Eating out with the silent-diner, the truly horrific dining experience was only marginally made better by the location, but the extra point was taken off by the waiter who had to keep pulling the scrap piece of paper out of his pocket in order to remember his recital of the 2 specials of the day. Bloody Mexicans.

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desomorphine

RATING OUT OF 10:  PRICE: 4/10 SERVING SIZE: 5/10

CRUNCH FACTOR: 2/10 SPICE: 1/10